Good intentions (for which I want credit)

It’s my day off – and I only get 2 a month unless I use my annual leave or sick pay. So I have to make them count! Yes, yes – I do.
I have family coming next week for a mini, weekend family reunion (no pressure) and I must get some stuff cleaned/sorted/thrown away/brought to Goodwill before they get here. Yes – this day must count.
Well, it’s noon and so far:
I hot glued a mirror whose frame had separated from the back.
Cleaned off the top of the fridge
hot glued my fingers to my pants
dusted the shelves of Dane’s side table
scrubbed one toilet
shredded some papers and checks
wiped stink bug stain off my blinds
which lead me to clean the air conditioner face
which lead me to wash the TV screen with scratch proof cloth
and the monitor on my computer, too
at which time I rewarded myself with a break by playing a game on my computer . . .
How am I doing so far?
Nothing looks any cleaner except the top of the fridge – and that’s because all the ‘stuff’ has been moved to the stove top. I have more piles than I started with and half the day is gone.
How does this happen?
All I have left to do is:
Clean the guest room from top to bottom
Clean the basement from bottom to top
Take all the tons of paper to recycling
Take 2 large boxes of clothes and purses to Goodwill
Eat lunch
Write a killer novel (or blog post)
go shopping
give myself a perm and haircut
and – to top it off?
I have an appointment here at 3:00 with a housecleaning company to discuss the possibility (a.k.a. ‘cost’) of their coming to clean my house semi-monthly or monthly, whatever I can afford. In other words, I have been cleaning in anticipation of the cleaning lady coming over . . . can you relate??
If she doesn’t turn around when she sees the 2 broken washing machines outside the basement door, the woodpile and the ’86 Plymouth wagon with a mail sign on it . . . maybe I should raise the hood and put it up on blocks???
No wait! I just remembered! There’s 2 discarded toilets sitting by the outbuilding! That ought to frighten her away!
I look at people who ‘clean’ for a living as being so disappointed in their jobs, for the people who can afford housecleaning don’t have dirty houses! But I will not disappoint her. She will feel a tingle of promise when she steps in the door. Her mind be overflowing with thoughts like, “YES! At last – this place will look 100% better when I’m done.” or “The things I can do with this place!” or “Look at the dust!”
I will have a tissue ready for her in case she drools a little . . . .